we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
