Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
