So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
