it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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