he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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