is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
