I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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