So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
