but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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