i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
