I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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