I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She even gives head with a lisp.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
