That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
