Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
