big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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