we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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