yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
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