the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
