I have demons in me.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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