I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
