the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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