Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
3pm strippers are depressing
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
