Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
