are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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