And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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