FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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