HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
3 2 1 whiskey
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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