East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
