Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
