i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
