You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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