You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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