your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
