At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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