My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
