Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
