Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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