I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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