I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
