STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
