feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
