I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
