you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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