allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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