dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
