How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
