bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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