Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
