WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
