hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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