Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
